


Heart to Heart

by Latia



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Heartbeat Fixation, Heartbeat Kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-19
Updated: 2013-04-19
Packaged: 2017-12-08 22:56:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/767020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Latia/pseuds/Latia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John and Rose share a heartfelt discussion. Secrets, second base, and Netflix ensue (not necessarily in that order).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Heart to Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Filled for a friend, this was originally a KM prompt but it's not necessarily smut. I hadn't really considered heartbeats as a kink before, so this was interesting to write!

Rose was never much of a tactile person. She grew up in a house of cold walls, of smooth stone and marble and--most important of all--a belief that little physical gestures like hugs and kisses were more tools than anything. Even on this side of adolescence, even with the understanding that sometimes a cigar was simply a cigar and a Nice, Friendly Hug was not something worth spending a handful of sleepless hours analyzing and wondering over--perhaps it impacted her more than she would have cared to admit.  
  
In any case, her friends more than made up for what might have been seen as a lack of physical affection on her part. Jade dispensed hugs and comforting pats to the shoulder like candy, John liked playful whacks to the back (ones that usually nearly knocked Karkat's head off), even Dave occasionally dispatched the Douchy Older (Yes One Day Older Totally Counts) Brother Hair Ruffle (TM). They weren't lacking anything by Rose not indulging in the art of being "touchy-feely."  
  
In any case, perhaps that was why John looked so surprised when he suddenly found himself with a lap full of her.

"Woah," he said.  
  
"Woah, uh," he said.  
  
Rose looked up. His eyes were much wider than usual, as if they were fighting to outgrow the span of his glasses. She smiled, playfully scooting downwards and setting her hands on his chest, resting her chin on the lower part of his sternum. "Yes?"

"Uh." An awkward little jump of the Adam's apple, a swallow. Details like these stayed grooved into her mind, minute victories to recall fondly later. "Did you, like." Absently, she noticed that he had paused the movie he had idly switched on post-dinner. "Need something?"  
  
 _Well that's one way to put it_. "Do I 'need something'?" She chuckled, leaning up. "You're the only person on Earth who could look their significant other straight in the eye and ask that with an ounce of sincerity." He had left his neck unguarded, a fatal mistake--one, she decided, that required a lesson to be taught.  
  
"Well  _sorry_ , I guess I just--." A stuttered gasp escaped his lips as her teeth softly met the dip of his throat, a little creak of noise followed soon after by a huff of breath as she kissed the reddened skin. The pattern continued as she moved slightly upward, dotting his neck with soft pecks. Under her hips his legs twitched, and without looking she could  _hear_  the teeth dug into his lower lip, a stubborn, futile attempt to staunch the cute little noises she felt more than heard.  
  
Charming as it all was, his vocalizations weren't nearly as rewarding as the sudden ratcheting of his heartbeat. She had felt it when she had first decided to breach his personal space bubble, shifting from its drowsy lull to a startled, almost curious throb as her hands had met his chest. Now it was so quick it almost made her teeth rattle. Idly her kisses trailed off, and she brought her head down to nestle comfortably in the space between his collarbones. Her cheek buzzed with pulse and warmth.  
  
"...like I was saying, I guess I was just  _out of practice_  with this sort of thing." Even with his voice riding the tails of slightly short breaths, she could hear the hints dropping between his words. "It's been  _so long_  since we did something like that together that I had just forgotten--."  
  
"John."  
  
The color in his face skimmed the top of his ears, but his expression was still twisted into indignation. "What?"  
  
"Please stop talking."

The breather over, she leaned up to nip just at the spot where his neck met his breastbone. She used a little more force than necessary, both to silence him and to kick-start his pulse once more.  
  
Sadly only the latter plan succeeded. “I-I mean, since most of the time I basicallllllly…basically have to roll on my back and b…beg to get you to pay attention, because apparently octopus documentaries and stuff are just soooooooo interesting! I just can’t compete with the Discov-.”  
  
“ _John._ ”  
  
His lips twisted, and he looked down at her nervously. “What?”  
  
“Please please please please  _please_  stop talking.”  
  
Rose punctuated the command with a quick swipe of her tongue down the curve of her neck. The results were instantaneous—John’s planned retaliation was cut off in a garbled mishmash of sound, and she was rewarded with a hike of heartbeat under her fingers.  
  
Meanwhile, his legs were beginning to shake. “Okay, okay, f-fine, that was a dddddd-” John’s words once again staggered into nonsense as Rose pulled down his shirt collar to zero in on his shoulder. “A d. A dick move. A dick move to say, I mean— I mean, a dick thing to say.” He sighed gustily. “I was being a dick.”  
  
“Slowly he learns,” Rose murmured against his skin.  
  
“But!! I just…man, I don’t know Rose, sometimes I want to be close to you and you just totally brush me off, and…”  
  
She slowed to a stop.

"And...jeez," he averted his eyes and shrugged his shoulders. "It just feels weird, and kind of unfair I guess? It's like--and I'm not necessarily saying this is true! But it sure as hell feels like you just don't like being with me sometimes, like you just...well." His gaze hit the wall firmly. "Tolerate me."  
  
Fleetingly Rose had to admit that, if it had been any other couple in this position, this might have been funny--an impromptu feeling-up suddenly turned soap drama was a brand of schadenfreude only cynics of the highest caliber could really appreciate. Sadly, though, she was still Rose and he was still very much John, and this was still very, very bad. "John, John, it's not like that at all," she blurted, dropping her coy tone like it had burned her. "It's never like that, you should never have to fear that I simply  _tolerate_  you."  
  
He didn't looked as relieved as he should have, but his shoulders relaxed, just the slightest bit. "Well." And the look on face is a small bit comical, a dash adorable--but above all, just sad. "I do."  
  
"Well  _don't!_...please." Rose wasn't sure if intimacy of their position was either making this more awkward or less awkward, and she frankly didn't care. "I...well, first I suppose I should be apologizing. I honestly never meant to make you feel that way. I enjoy being with you John, believe it or not. As hard as it may be to fathom I would not--" No, no, ease off the sarcasm, come ON Lalonde. "--I mean, I assumed it would be apparent that I'm at the VERY least incredibly fond of you and being in a relationship with you and among the band of misfits we've scrapped together you're one immeasurably dear to my..."

  
"...to your what?" He tilted his head, his curiosity suddenly overtaking his worry.  
  
"My..." And she sighed, a half smile on her face. "My heart. And that's just the problem."

John's eyebrows crinkled. "Iiiiiiii'm confused."  
  
"It's not your fault. I..." Rose took a breath, knowing that now more than ever she needed to be careful about her words. "To begin with, I was never one for physical affection--"  
  
"I noticed."  
  
A small part of her bristled at that, but she grit her metaphorical teeth. "--even when I was with Kanaya, I never felt courageous enough to try being..." Oh wow, her ears sure suddenly felt hot. "Being closer to her without the moral support of a bit of moonshine."  
  
"Mm." John suddenly became enamored with a bit of thread on the sofa.   
  
At that moment a bit of dutch courage sounded nice, but Rose squared her shoulders. "I hope you realize I'm telling this because I trust you, and want there to be nothing kept secret or 'taboo' between us."  
  
"...I know." Between his fingertips the thread went taut. "I'm just...kind of wondering where you're going with this?"  
  
"Where I'm going with this is that this is important! John," and before she knew what she was doing her hands were turning his head (GENTLY) (but firmly) to face her. "I'm telling you this and I'm telling this because I WANT to and not out of some booze-flavored whimsy or some passive-aggressive tactic--because I want this to work. I want US to work."  
  
John stared at Rose.  
  
Rose stared at John.  
  
"...Buff whaf does di haf to du wiff yerr hert?"  
  
"What? Oh--" Flushing, Rose released her hold on his cheeks. "-sorry."  
  
"Thanks." And to her relief there was something close to a smile on his face. "Rose, I appreciate that, but...I'm still confused. I think I might be more confused than before, and that's really, really saying something. What does any of this have to do with your heart?"  
  
"Well." Oh boy. No delaying this anymore. "Alright, no more rambling. The bullet points version is simple: I like you. I like you, and am in a relationship with you, and it is  _awesome_." She extended an index finger. "I trust you, and want there to be no secrets between us. We need to know certain things about each other." Her thumb met her pointer. "One of these certain things is that I used to think I was not one for physical intimacy, but I think recently I may have discovered an exception to the rule..."  
  
"That exception being me?"  
  
"Being...you." She bit her lip. "But perhaps with a bit of an... addendum?"  
  
"...yeah?"   
  
"I'm not saying it's necessarily a necessity! But I've found that something that makes...intimate contact more...enjoyable..." And under her chest she was aware of his heartbeat quickening. Laugh, universe.  _Laugh._  
  
He leaned closer. "What?"  
  
She inhaled. "Put simply..."  
  
" _Yes?_ "

"..."  
  
Without warning, John suddenly found himself with his hand on Rose's chest.

 

 

 

 

 

Golly, that silence sure was roaring.  
  
Rose's hand stayed atop of John's. Rose's eyes were focused on John. John...John seemed to have short-circuited.  
  
He looked at his hand.  
  
He looked at her.  
  
He looked at his hand.  
  
He looked at her.  
  
His mouth slowly opened.  
  


 

"I," he said.  
  


"I am," he said.  
  


 

"...I am confused." He finally decided. "Happy, but confused."  
  
"As is becoming a reoccurring theme for today."   
  
"I just...okay? The thing that makes you more comfortable with physical stuff is boob-touching?" Before she could interject he quickly added: "Not saying that I have a problem with that or anything! It's just that all that seemed like a lot of buildup just for a copped feel."  
  
" _John._  She snorted, shaking her head. "I know it's hard, but ignore the idea of 'copping feels' for a moment."  
  
"I'll do my best," he said solemnly.  
  
"Now, what do you feel, besides my chest? What do you feel  _under_  it?"  
  
"Er." He suddenly looked slightly nervous. "Am I..supposed to be feeling something? Like some sort of previously unknown growth under your skin? Because this seems a hell of a way to bring it up."  
  
"Try harder, John."  
  
"...Rose, I don't feel anything." He sighed. "I mean, I feel your heartbeat, but I don't feel anything like, tangible."  
  
"That's because it's not tangible."  
  
"What?"  
  
"My heartbeat, John." She looked down at his hand, gently fitting her thumbs under his wrist. "And yours." His pulse fluttered in his wrist. "That's what I've been trying to say. Your heartbeat is comforting. It's..." Her cheeks warmed, just a little. "Nice."  
  
"....and THAT's what you've been trying to say all this time? That feeling my heart beating is that 'addendum'?"  
  
"Well...yes."   
  
John just looked at her. "And that's it? Nothing else? No extraneous bodily fluids? Nothing painful and/or illegal?"  
  
Rose lifted her eyebrows. "John...I'm suddenly a little worried as to what you may think of me."  
  
"I think you're incredibly silly, that's what I think!" And suddenly Rose found herself wrapped up in thick arms and the slightest scent of snack foods. "Rose, you..." He laughed, and she could feel his heartbeat against hers. "You are so YOU."  
  
"So I've been told." But she smiled. "So...is it okay with you?"  
  
"What, you listening to my heartbeat? Rose, it's  _fine_. It's great. I'll ask Dave for some weird dumb preserved heart and get Jane to make it start beating again, if you want."  
  
Rose frowned. "Er, you don't have to go quite that far."  
  
"Good." And suddenly Rose found herself with her back on the couch, and her lips on his.

 

 

 

It was a short kiss, though--within moments John pulled back. "Wait, wait, we should be..."  
  
"Be what?"  
  
"You know, the heart thing. Don't you wanna...?" He half-nodded towards his chest, almost shy.  
  
After a few seconds, her lips curled into a small smile. "Well. If you insist..."   
  
Rose lifted her hand to rest her palm right in the center of his chest. Sure enough, his heartbeat was already speeding up once more. Sliding her hand higher, her fingers grazed the hollow of his throat, and her grin very nearly split her face in two when she felt the thin skin there twitching. He let out a quiet sound, and under her fingers his pulse kicked up a notch.  
  
As this was happening John had remained frozen above her, stock still. Rose looked up. In light of the impromptu feeling up his face was a bit red, but he didn't seem so much flustered as he did...curious. She withdrew her hand for a moment. "You know...you can try it too, if you want."  
  
"Me?" He blinked. "I...I guess, maybe? If you were, uh. Okay with it."  
  
"Of course."  
  
"...Okay."  
  
"...you don't seem very enthusiastic." Was it too weird for him? She tried for a joke: "You do realize you've pretty much been given a free pass to explore the wonders of Second Base?"  
  
"Fft." The derisive snort of air couldn't hide the sudden reddening of his ears. "You mean what you did earlier? You pretty much forced me to feel you up."  
  
Rose tilted her head innocently. "Whatever do you mean? I was simply trying to educate you in dousing for the heartbeat."  
  
"Rose. Your boobs don't have hearts."  
  
"Shh, don't say that! You'll hurt their feelings."  
  
His faux-serious face twitched into a smile for a moment. "What I'm saying is you put my hand in THAT spot totally deliberately! It was totally transparent!"  
  
Rose smirked. "And what if I did? All I was trying to do was guide you towards the right path. While flustering you."  
  
"Oh, wow. Color me shocked."  
  
"It was simply a way to stimulate both of our heartbeats. As was my...initiation of these events."  
  
"IE: you invading the space of an innocent boy who just wanted to see a movie, deliberately trying to give me a heart attack, because it would feel nicer with my heart beating faster."  
  
"Naturally."   
  
"Continue to color me shocked." His voice was completely deadpan. "I am just getting painted with all the Colors of the Wind. Of Shocked."  
  
"...John?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
She shifted slightly under him. "Are you going to try it or not?"  
  
"Just give me a sec!" That response was way too quick. John exhaled a big gusty sigh of air. "Yeah, okay. Right."  
  
Despite everything, his hand didn't go anywhere too scandalous. He rested his palm dead center between her collarbones. After a few seconds he summoned enough courage to drag his fingers down her sternum. It tickled slightly, causing her to squirm.   
  
"Huh," he said.  
  
As he focused on her heartbeat she returned her hand to its spot on in the groove between his pecs. She shut her eyes to focus on the feeling. Perhaps it was just her imagination, but having his hand against her own heart seemed to heighten the feeling of his pulse. Could two hearts actually sync? Somehow the thought of that made her own heart flutter a little--  
  
"Oh _man_."   
  
His voice came soft and slightly wondering. Rose looked up at him once more. "What is it?"  
  
His face was entirely pink, and when he returned the look his pupils were big and dark. "It's...oh man, Rose, I can..." He half-laughed, suddenly seeming a bit embarrassed. "It's like, blood carrying...it carries oxygen through the body, that's what the heart does, it's pumping blood and moving oxygen all around."  
  
Despite herself, Rose's eyes widened. "Are you...saying you can feel it? You can feel blood cells carrying oxygen...carrying breath?"  
  
"I  _think_  that's what I'm feeling. I feel your breath moving all through you, I always feel people's breath moving through them, but...nothing like this." His eyes were huge now, almost like a cat's. Something about the look he was giving her made the back of her neck tingle. "It's like, centralized in your heart, your lungs, and every time your heart beats, I can feel it circulating..."  
  
Her heartbeat quickened.   
  
"Thousands of millions of little scraps of air...all turning and intertwining inside you...  
  
His heartbeat quickened.  
  
"You've picked this up fast," Rose said quietly. "And you technique is so much more sophisticated than mine."  
  
"Mm. Well, I think I still have a few more things I can afford to learn about this whole heart business." John leaned in closer. "Know where I can find a good teacher?"  
  
"Sadly," she breathed--  
  
 _(her breath met his breath)_ _(breathed old air into new air)_ _(and back again)_  
  
"--I'm the only one I know of."  
  
"Rats. I'll just have to make due."  
  
"How sad."  
  
"A bitter tragedy."  
  
"A melancholy misfortune."  
  
"A woeful....woeful...woefuck it, come  _here_ \--"  
  
Between kisses, Rose noted she felt his heart most distinctly in the firm circles she trapped his wrists in. When he dipped his head to nip her neck for a moment, he zeroed into the soft, gently jumping hollow of her throat. At some moments it felt like no matter what parts of them brushed she felt his heart, although with every moment that passed it was harder to say who's heartbeat belonged to who, their bodies acting as echochambers to each other, their heartbeats slowly making a metaphorical slide to the singular-  
  
"Oh shit, the movie!"  
  
"...what?"   
  
John suddenly sat up. "It's Netflix! I only rented it till 12 tonight--crap, if we don't start now we won't finish before time's up!!"   
  
"..."  
  
"Oh don't give me that look Rose, if we run out of time in the middle of it and end up having to rent it twice we're going to feel so dumb!"  
  
"...I suppose we can't have that." Rose sighed, fixing her mussed hair as he scrambled for the remote.  
  
"Um, but. Yeah." John settled himself on the couch once more. "Thanks for like. Telling me all that."  
  
"No mention of the showing?"  
  
He laughed, cheeks still very much flushed. " _That_  goes without saying..."  
  
Rose smiled. "Well, thank you for being so understanding, even with all my verbal sidestepping."  
  
"Oh please, Rose. I am a master of navigating the Lalonde verbal sidestepping technique. I'm simply the best there is!"  
  
"Yes, you are."  
  
"...so." Starting the movie up once more, he opened his arms slightly towards her.  
  
She smiled. "So."  
  
(The movie wasn't worth the 99 cent special. Rose fell asleep with John's arms around her and his heartbeat in her ears.)


End file.
